Quote

"Either they won't sleep with you, and then there's really no reason to ever call them again, or they DO sleep with you...and then there's really no reason to ever call them again."

Story

Drinking days, they come and go
and I do not remember
most of the things I say or do
or where I found the blender.
On a bus to different bars
my head already spinning
and in the race to who'll die first
my liver's surely winning.

They're all so good.

1. Hangovers!
-Nothing a few cocktails can't fix!

2. Black-Outs!
-Not just for the power company anymore!

3. Naughty Liver!
-You must be punished!

4. Beer!
-Hey, it's cheaper than therapy!

5. Tequila!
-For fast relief of conciousness!

6. Breasts!
-Helping men avoid eye contact since 1865!

7. Jello Shots!
-Your OTHER favourite thing that jiggles!

8. Rehab?
-Momma didn't raise no quitter!

9. Drinking!
-Hey, every village needs an idiot!

10. Twins!
-Hey, every man needs a goal in life!

11. Excercise!
-No gut! No glory!

12. Working?
-Sure, as long as it doesn't cut into my drinking time!

13. Sex!
-Finally a job we can do laying down!

New Years

Waking up in a different city!?
SWEET!